Intro to Camulic

A dark-haired man walks out from behind the curtains and takes a bow. When he stands back up, his sky-blue eyes scan the crowd while a huge grin forms on his face. His eyes rest upon you and winks.

“Well hello there! My name is Matthew Bleu, a pleasure to see you all here! Thank you for your interest in learning about the world of Camulic, there is certainly a lot to learn, but I’ll keep this as simple as possible. I’ll give you a few facts before I show you some examples from that world, alright? First off, Camulic is the third planet in a group of twelve planets orbiting three suns called Yarel, Yoshel, and Jomael, the group is called sunitry by the camulics. There are five moons orbiting Camulic, Adonna, Lovna, Expian, Petian, and Thans. Even though there are more moons and suns than what Earth has, Camulic is still very similar to Earth, quite good for the humans who live there, just one of six species total that call Camulic home. Though, the trolls aren’t exactly the best sort to encounter, they’re out to kill the rest of the species. I really don’t know what their problem is, but they certainly help with a good story. Trolls have been the antagonists of most of the stories of Camulic, humans and duergars filling up the rest of the slots. Trolls are incredibly ugly too; they’re about, eh, seven feet tall with moldy green skin, yellow eyeballs with black irises and white pupils, six digits on both feet and both hands, and they’re fat. Now, there’s ugly fat and beautiful, they’re ugly fat, OK? Those of you who are fat and think you’re ugly, you’re gorgeous compared to these guys, trust me. Though, I think the fact that you weren’t ugly to begin with has a lot to do with it, yeah. Oh, and they have jagged teeth, nothing like shark teeth, mind you, that’s another species on another world, but it’s pretty nasty. Let me think if there was anything else.”

“Oh, will you just get on to rest of the people of Camulic already! You’ve got a lot of ground to cover!” came a voice from back stage.

“But how can I cover a lot of ground if I’m supposed to stand right here?” remarked Matthew. “Ow!” A hand had reached out from behind the curtain and hit Matthew’s head with a hook. A tall, brown-haired, brown-eyed man peered from behind the curtains.

“I’m keeping an eye on you, so don’t try anything funny,” remarked the shadowy man.

“Well, I already tried something funny, Steven. And you do realize you have two eyes, right? So, what are you going to do with the other eye?” grinned Matthew.

“Why you lousy . . . ooph!” Steven tried to hit Matthew with the hook again, but missed and fell on the floor as Matthew took to the ceiling. Both eased into a cross-legged position.

“Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, there are lares, acalicas, and barbegazis on Camulic as well. The acalicas are the tallest at nine feet, the barbegazis are the shortest at four feet, and they get along quite well together. The lares  are almost like elves, except they stand about seven tall, they have six digits on both hands and both feet, pale green skin, curly-pointed ears about as long as my pointer finger, and they have dark green-grey pupils instead of the black that everyone else has. Well, except the acalicas, they have tan eyeballs, leaf colored irises, and dark green pupils. And bark-like skin, and leaf-like hair, and root-like toes, and branch-like fingers. Yeah. Anyway, the barbegazis basically look like miniature humans, except for their large feet, feet that are about twice the size of a grown man’s, covered in a skin that feels similar to a whale’s or seal’s blubber. Makes sense, though, they walk on snowy mountains a lot, so that means their feet are pretty insulated. And then there are the duergars, they stand at about five feet. Rather like dwarves, they are, thick purple beards and hair, rather stocky, slightly curved ears and noses, and square-shaped eyes. Is there anything else?”

“Not that I can think of,” grumbled Steven.

“Oh, there is! How could I forget this! Just like Earth, there are four seasons, twelve months, and seven days. The year starts in the winter, what they call Jonner, on Petrey 1st. Anyway, the seasons are Jonner, Matreng, Lukter, and Makern; the months are Petrey, Jone, Jamsey, Tolmar, Philliry, Matther, Simoy, Barthol, Andrech, Jasmer, Thadust, and Mathay;  and the days are Mikgior, Gabrigior, Rahpgior, Urigior, Jergior, Sargior, and Raquegior. Wouldn’t want to leave that out, now would we?”

“No, but now it is time that we leave so that they can see the examples,” said Steven as he grabbed Matthew by the arm and started pulling him off stage. Matthew shook him off, and morphed into Peter Pan. “Oh, you’re gonna play that game again, are ya? Alright then!” With a shout Steven morphed into Captain Hook and chased Matthew around the stage a couple times before Matthew led him off.

Matthew flew back onstage. “I hope you enjoyed it, and that you enjoy everything else! See yaaaaa!” Steven got his hook through Matthew’s collar and pulled him off stage. The lights dim, and the curtains open to reveal a screen. Words appear on the screen, “True Love Never Fails”.

“Oh, of course! That had to be next!” Steven’s voice boomed from the back.

“But who doesn’t love a good love story?” Matthew’s voice followed.

“I don’t, that’s who,” Steven snapped back.

Matthew laughed, “Go tell that to your wife, Stevie Wonder.” Matthew’s laughter echoes off into the distance with Steven’s shouts following.


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